Things aren’t already better - by any means. In fact, they’re worse right now. But my outlook is completely different. A weight has been lifted.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m scared - I’m stressing about different things. But everything seems different…it’s hard to explain. I am sure I will waiver a thousand times between now and June. I’ll go from dancing in the kitchen giddy to throwing up nervous.
I do know though, that lately, being positive hasn’t required the “forcing” that it used to. And maybe even that will change….but for now I am going to swim in it. So when people ask me how sucky something really is, I’ll tell them - but then I will also tell them my thought process regarding all of it….
….but it’s just a day and at the end of the day I get to see my beautiful girl. And at the end of the week I get a night in Chicago with my husband. And at the end of the month I am one month closer to being able to stay home and happily let the rat race pass me by.
Have I told you how wonderfully I have slept for the past two nights?
